Potatoes and Science
by Sincerely-Tragedy
Summary: "What is that guy doing?" "Putting potatoes in his pants." Carlos muttered in response to the young teen that was supposed to be taking over his shift now. She laughed quietly, leaning on the counter beside him. "Why haven't you stopped him yet?" "Science." Was his short response.


**Potatoes and Science**

Just another normal night working cash. At least, as normal as it gets when your workplace is in the middle of the scientifically baffling town of Night Vale. Carlos pushed his thin-wire glasses up to rub the bridge of his nose, trying to relive what little stress he could. By day he was the respected, handsome, well-off assistant scientist, but by night he was a tired, grouchy cashier at the local supermarket trying to make ends meet.

Sighing for what seemed like the hundredth time that night, he placed his glasses back in place, looking up for a clock, only to find none. _Of course there are none. They don't even seem to work around here anyways..._ His eyes drifted down a nearby aisle following the sound of a soft thud of something hitting the floor.

The young man's one eye twitched as pulled back a bit. Down towards the end of the aisle was a young blonde male stuffing potatoe after potate _into his pants_. Carlos grimaced, yet still found himself intrigued, and was soon caught up in counting how many potatoes the man had in put in his trousers already. Leaning against the counter, one hand cupping his chin as the other tapped rhythmically on the stainless steel. _18, 19, 20, where are they all going? 22, 23, 24..._

"What is that guy doing?"

"Putting potatoes in his pants." Carlos muttered in response to the young teen that was supposed to be taking over his shift now.

She laughed quietly, leaning on the counter beside him. "Why haven't you stopped him yet?"

"Science." Was his short response. "Come on, you've got to be able to fit more then 28..." He added to more to himself, then to the other cashier.

"28? Are you serious? How does he expect to be able to walk out of here?" Dana asked in minor disbelief.

"Exactly." Carlos responded, the tapping of his fingers becoming more aggressively as he kept count. _31, 32, 33, 34..._ "This is getting completely ridiculous!"

After reaching roughly 45 potatoes, the blonde seemed to think that was enough, and after looking both left and right, he began making his way around the story, walking casually, and totally not like he had just stuffed an absurd amount of potatoes into his trousers.

When the stranger began making his way towards the checkout, Carlos and Dana both pushed themselves up and looked anywhere but towards the customer. Dana nudged Carlos, leaning in to whisper to him. "I'll let you take this one before I take over your shift."

Carlos nodded, staring far to hard at his own feet, as a way to avoid staring to pointedly at the strange blonde.

"Hey, is this lane open?"

Carlos looked up to see the man was holding a pack of lavender gum over the counter. "Why else would I be standing here?" Carlos said, trying to use the same tone, but sounding a little more snarky then he expected.

The blonde smiled, placing down the pack of gum. "Maybe for looks? You are a rather nice sight after all."

Carlos had begun ringing through the purchase when the man responded, he paused, feeling a slight heat come over his face. thanks." He mumbled, trying to let the words trip over his tongue. He had more important things to focus on then whatever was coming out of the man's mouth. Like how he was going to make him slip up over the fact that he had 45 potatoes in his trousers! "That will be .98"

The man casually pulled out the amount. So much for having one fall out of a pocket.

"Would you like a bag with your purchase?" Carlos thought to ask at the last second before the man picked up his pack of gum.

The blonde tilted A/N:his head, as if genuinely thinking about it. "Only if it'll have your number on it..." He looked down at Carlos's name tag. "Carlos."

"You literally just shoved 45 potatoes into your trousers, and your only concern right now is finding ways to flirt with me?"

"My name's Cecil, and I swear these potatoes are for someone in need." His smile turned from savvy to somewhat pleading.

"Who needs 45 potatoes?"

Cecil opened his mouth, then closed it, then smirked again. "If you give me your number, I just might tell you all about it."

"Did you really just let him walk out of here with 45 unpaid for potatoes?" Dana asked when she came back over from another cash register.

"Yes."

"Why?" She asked, staring after the blonde man she'd never seen before that day.

"Science." Carlos mumbled, tucking a slip of paper into his back pocket.

* * *

 _ **A/N:**_ **I have some many things I should actually be working on, but I just couldn't help myself! So, I found a list of au prompts on tumblr, I picked the au, my friend picked the pairing, and voila, I wrote this cheesy... thing. DevenTheDevil, I doubt you'll ever actually read this at all, but what's done is done, thanks for your help.**

 **Anyways, I hope at least one of you readers have enjoyed this slightly ooc UA (universe alteration).**


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